Monday, August 11, 2014

On Depression

Depression isn't like anything.

It really isn't. If you haven't experienced it, it's literally unimaginable. You can't think yourself out of it, even if you 'know' intellectually, what's happening to you.

It doesn't matter how much success you have. It doesn't matter how much money you have. It doesn't matter how wonderful your friends are, or how much you love your family.

It will tear that away from you. It will take you away from you. It's that bad. It's worse. I was lucky enough that it never got so bad that I wanted to die. But it got so bad I didn't care if I did.

It's been fourteen years, give or take, since I got help for it. I am still terrified of it coming back. That's not exaggeration - it's maybe the thing that I am afraid of most, and number two isn't a close competitor.

The best description of it I ever read was in Hyperbole and a Half, and these are a harrowing but worthwhile read:

So, I hope he's found some peace he didn't get in life.


  1. I know this is enormously personal, but...How exactly did you get out of it?

  2. Depression is like the changing of the seasons, it will happen in some form or another, but like the seasons it will eventually end.

    I don't know about clinically depressed people, like say, someone with an illness, but i dare say for MOST people it is a normal emotion, like being happy or angry, we are just taught it is not something normal, that we are all messed up.

    I really believe that all emotions serve a function, sometimes we get depressed and we SHOULD feel depressed, something bad happened and we feel depressed, we have every rite to feel depressed, soetimes we feel it for reasons we do not understand, just know that when you coe out of it, you will be stronger and in hindsight you will know the reason you where depressed, because humans have a tendency to look for meaning in everything, i wonder if that is because the answers are deep down inside and we are just looking for excuses to believe in the intangible guides and truths that will better us.

    Just like the seasons this DEPRESSION, this WINTER WILL END, its just surviving until then and be happy, because without winter it would be so hot the earth with scorch, same with always feeling happy and the same with always feeling sad, we need anabolism and catabolism in life, other wise we will never grow and the sleeper will never awaken. (Heh dune)

    We cannot BE depressed, meaning, we cannot BE DEPRESSION, we can only FEEL depressed. How we behave effects what we do, but we are not the sum of our emotions alone, we have higher thought. All emotions are chemicals in the body, the way we use our body effects those chemicals, like the Hercules method. Emotions effect how we behave (how we use our body, posture, tone of voice etc) and how we use our body effects how we feel, it works both ways.

    I believe we truly can get out of depression by choice, HOWEVER, emotions are meant to be FELT and EXPERIENCED, like a small wound it mite heal on its own, but sometimes you gotta put a splint onto it otherwise it will rot and effect your whole life until you gotta cut a part of yourself off. Just getting out of depression and never dealing with its core cause can cause a break down later down the track.

    1. I say FEEL those emotions, stay depressed a while, as long as you don't go for the final solution you know? Write a journal cry it out, DON'T KEEP IT IN, go somewhere private and have a break down and when you are ready to stop feeling depressed (when depression is more annoying then sad) here is how.

      Step one would be as above, dealing with it, acknowlaging that you are depressed and being cool with it, feeling it and knowing that it will end and you will be a stronger person. NEXT

      I believe depression is caused by the following.
      What we do with our bodies.
      What we put into our bodies.
      And what we CHOOSE to focus on.

      So step two would be to work on diet, no need to give up EVERYTHING, just eat real food, and cut down on the sugar/beer/weed.
      Real food is anythings grown, vegitables and fruit, or anything cut of an animal, MEAT.
      A chicken nugget is not food, if it comes out of a can it is not food, if it has a list of its ingredients it is not real food, an apple or beef doesn't have ingredients.

      Drink water, not beer not coffee, water is magic, water is life. At least 2 liters a day.

      Next what we focus on, Write 5 positive questions and then everyday for 10 days write down three answers as to why this is true (even if it isn't) this will direct your brain into believing it. (different questions every day)

      A negative question is (Why do i suck?)
      A positive question is (Why am i such a magnetic ladies man?) or if you can't do that write (How can i be such a magnetic ladies man?)
      Its easy and fun, write down all the answers and read the questions and answer OUT LOUD every morning.

      ALSO write down everything you want in life, everything you are already grateful about in life and everything your are grateful that has happened in your life and read the all out loud to yourself every day

      Also its fun to write things and read them out loud like, I am super bad ass and nothing can fuck with me.

      NEXT What we do with our bodies, all the energy in our bodies is in our heads when we are depressed, so we need to force it all into our body, jogging and working out to the max causes you to be to exhausted to think about negative shit, there are plenty of easy ass workout that you cant do, hell even walking for an hour a day its good. A lot o people get depressed cause they sit in the fetal position all the time, driving on teh computer on the toilet, like i said before, how we use our bodies effects our emotiongs, so stand tall like your super man and smile like an idiot, its stupid but it work and you will feel different.

      Some tips are to speak faster and or louder and or with more passion, also BREATH DEEPLY, ever feeling low on energy or down, take a deep breath. Exhale all the air in the lungs then exhale some more then fill them till they feel like they will burst hold and breath out. INSTANT emotional change.

      Basically its, eat real food, drink water, work out and breath.

      I know its hard when you are depressed to do ANYTHING i KNOW THIS from experience, but ill tell you what, working for 33 days straight helped me a lot, changed my focus from the negative and the affirmations helped get me laid.

      That's just my advice, being depressed is normal and part of a cycle in life, sometimes its severe and sometimes its a whimper but you always can become stronger if you want to.

    2. Anyway i hope this helped, i no expert but this is just what works for me, do seek real help from a professional or visit a local library and rent some helpful books on the subject.

      Also when is the Legacy of Luther Strode coming out?