Thursday, December 15, 2011

A Failed Pitch: Sweating Bullets

I was talking to Jeremy Holt (who does the very good Process podcast and is one of th people trying to bust into the bidness that I am sure will succeed) a little on Twitter about failed pitches, and I don't think I've made any public, so here's one.

Sweating Bullets – Six issue crime series.

Sweating Bullets is a darkly comic crime story in the tradition of the Coen Brothers and Donald Westlake. Second story man and committed loser Jimmy "The Squirrel" Richmond has accidentally learned information that could upset the balance of power in his town. Now every thug, cop and lunatic in the city is hot on his trail. Even after hiring protection in the form of Mean Mike McCracken, an ex cop who is said to have fed his own partner through a woodchipper, Jimmy is still SWEATING BULLETS.

About the writer: Justin Jordan's short stories have appeared in numerous anthlogies, including Hard Words, High Noon Presents and Kagemano and his webcomic Junk is in the August competition at Zuda.

About the artist: Anthony Peruzzo is a graduate of the MFA program at The University of Texas in Austin, and is the writer and artist of the graphic novels Relative Corpse and Variations on a Stranger. His most recent work can be seen in Negative Burn from Desperado.

Issue Breakdown

Issue One – Jimmy the Squirrel, pettiest of petty thieves, witnesses a murder. Normally in Cashtown, that wouldn’t be a problem, but Jimmy learned something that everybody wants to know – the location of the legendary Vault, where all the secrets of Cashtown’s criminal element are kept. Jimmy is forced to enlist the services of hired-goon-extraordinaire Mean Mike McCracken as a horde of assassins, thugs and general miscreants close in. As if that weren’t bad enough, crime boss Leopold Carcetti has employed madman-for- hire Bad Shoes to make sure that the secrets of the Vault remain secret…

Issue Two – Trapped in a bar by the Machinegun Girls, who just want to pour some bullets into them, and the duo of Quiet Ed and Billy, who just want to torture them a bit, Mike and Jimmy set fire to the place, using the chaos to fight their way free. They try to head out of town, but they’re thwarted at every turn, corralled into taking the one route out of town that will lead them straight to Bad Shoes.

Issue Three – While Mike tries to slow down Bad Shoes, Jimmy decides this is his one chance for freedom and books it out of town. Unfortunately for him, Quiet Ed and Billy are one step ahead of him and nab him before he can make his escape. But before they can deliver Jimmy the Cashtown police, who are just as eager to find the location of the Vault as everyone else, intercepts them.

Issue Four – Billy gives up Quiet Ed and Jimmy to the police, trying to save his own skin, while The Machinegun Girls fish Mean Mike out of the river. They want to use him to find Jimmy, but he makes them an offer they can’t refuse. In the police station, Quiet Ed and Jimmy’s interrogation is interrupted when Bad Shoes-- master of subtlety that he is—drives a tractor-trailer straight into the jail. Quiet Ed makes his move to escape with Jimmy in tow during the ensuing chaos.

Issue Five – Quiet Ed and Jimmy are pinned down by the police and Bad Shoes, but the arrival of the Machinegun Girls and Mean Mike gets the gang back together. They escape the burning precinct house, eventually finding them trapped in a police warehouse. But Mean Mike has a plan. He’s going to lead everyone to the Vault is and let them fight it out for themselves.

Issue Six – Bad Shoes is last to arrive at the Vault. While he sets about killing his way through the massed criminals, Quiet Ed and the Machine Gun Girls find themselves trapped on the other side of the ruined building, leaving Mean Mike and Jimmy to face Bad Shoes alone. With an unexpected and unprecedented act of heroism, Jimmy manages to distract Bad Shoes long enough for Mean Mike to apparently kill him.
In the aftermath of the Vault’s destruction, Mean Mike drops Jimmy off at the edge of town, annoyed with his inability to pay. Leopold, who started the whole mess, is confident that his secret is safe… until he discovers his secret has been uncovered by the very much alive Bad Shoes.


Fwd: Submission: Sweating Bullets

Fwd: Submission: Sweating Bullets

Fwd: Submission: Sweating Bullets

Fwd: Submission: Sweating Bullets

Fwd: Submission: Sweating Bullets

Fwd: Submission: Sweating Bullets

Fwd: Submission: Sweating Bullets

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